i ran away..

I ran away from life
To be one with Nothingness.
At least, the fear of loosing things, aint there.
The animate keep running away, Augmenting the vacuum.
Therefore, Only things.

The vacuum, was life once,
Brimming with
Spirit. Love. Passion. Commitment.
Honesty .Euphoria.

Eventually,It started Fading
I kept revolving in the scent of bygones,
The bygones kept mocking at me.
I pleaded. They ignored.
I cried. They sneered.
I lay broken.They moved on.

I could not let them enter my present,
So took the leap
Stabbed my past,
It pleaded. I ignored
It cried. I Groaned.
Closure.

Beginning.
My relationship with nothingness grew stronger,
With each tick, tick of the clock,
With each rooster’s morning call,
With each summer. Spring. Autumn and winter.

Now,
We are ‘An Entity’
Two bodies, No soul.

I Ditched life
And have become one with Nothingness

What if...

What If, I would have said a Yes!
The canvas of our amour would have different strokes…

We would have spent hours conversing,
I would have felt your caress,
We would have enticed each other with words,
Would have Gazed for hours, Coalesced hearts.
We would have ignored the distance and the difference
We would have vowed to walk the Earth, Together.

And, now when I just Mean, the unsaid Yes,
The curve of life, is so alluring.

We don’t spend hours conversing, We communicate.
My longing for your caress still excites me
Our souls, and not words entice us.
We didn’t just fastened our hearts, We connected
We have transcended the difference.
The distance didn’t prove a fatal ground for our love,
but helped us walk along, Sturdy.

Today,
Not only do we walk the Earth together,
Also, We Glide in the limitless sky

The Ride

I had never explored this side, of Delhi. It was a little strange, but off late I had been doing crazy things, so just thought of going with the flow .People were gazing, but who cares, I went on with two bags on, left the metro station to board a bus to Gurgaon.I was told, a mini bus would take me to the kapashera border from where I would have to walk for a mile, n then bla bla bla something, I was sure to forget it all

So I was waiting for this bus, with two more girls, dressed in their professional attire, two guys, and some taxis. The gals kept on looking at me and kept murmuring, n those impatient fellas passed an occasional smile every other minute.Wow! Its great being the center of attraction, I smiled in my mind, and as it always happens with me, I got smiling. Now they came a little close. ‘Hell! You invited trouble for yourself’ I said to myself, so I looked away.

I was still waiting, thinking of a friend, I had met a day before, the metro breakdown and my nephew and niece. A lot of why’s were coming in and going out randomely.and then, zzzzzzzhhhhh ddhhuuuuukk zhhzhzzh, The sound got louder and louder. Doppler Effect u c!

I could not take off my eyes from it. People who were scattered now came together, as if they were going to gang up. One of the guys was still staring, Perhaps I appeared more appealing than the petite and out of the world thing, which was approaching us. And bang on, it stopped right in front of me.

A mini, or let me say a micromini bus, stuffed with passengers to its brim, was there. I Suddenly I realized the importance and the need of population control. It seemed the bus could almost collapse , any moment and it would not get to even breathe its last breath.All this time, I had been waiting for it, how could I fit in?It was only possible if I would chop off my legs, hands and head, leave my Bags. Then my torso could fit in, Perhaps. But I had to reach Gurgaon, I was already late, I had someone waiting for me.

The conducter was calling out to us, ‘Kapa shera Kapa shera’ Loud and clear

I stepped forward, but there were people before me, pouncing on each other, pulling and fighting for a space in the jampacked and dilapidated mini bus. I stepped back, thinking that I would catch the next bus. The other well dressed ladies, even stepped back and so did one of those guys.The conducter kept asking for more people, as if he would throw off some of the passengers mid way to accommodate the hanging ones or magically the mini bus would transform into a giant size double decker.

Again, the wait started .I could feel my head go the pendulum way, to and fro, Repeatedly. The pleasant weather was breaking the monotony occasionally though.I turned to the gals to ask if the service was frequent, just then a car halted right in front of me.

to be contnd..

Being Me

I feel like goin past this world...
I feel like flying high..UNPERTURBED
I feel like giving wings to my ASPIRATIONS
I feel like satisfying my hunger for CREATIVITY
I feel like giving birth to oozes of simplicity , honesty, beauty

I feel like living in a world away from the clutches o hypocrisy and flattery..

I feel like loving u..wid all that i am..
I feel like shedding my masks of 'idealistic me'

I feel like waking up my talents from their slumber


I feel like breaking ol the restrictions...stepping out and experiencing this WORLD...
I feel like looking for new HORIZONS..
Exploring the undiscovered world
Rediscovering Myself
I feel like reaching out to.. and bringing out my purity... the divinity ..the innocence back...

O! I FEEL LIKE BEING A ' CHILD ' AGAIN!!!

kiss in the rain..

It was pouring, thanks to the Sun, even a rainbow circumscribed the sky. I could’nt resist any further, so called him.
Me: hey, wanna meet?
Him: you nuts! its pouring, literally!
Me: but I really wanna meet you, I’v got something for you
Him: Swati, we’d meet later. By the way, what is so special that you can’t even wait for some hours.
Me: No, you have to come down to find it out, I don’t mind coming near your place, if you have a problem walking upto mine, you can atleast come outside.
Him: I won’t till the time you tell me,
Me: (shying a little) I want to kiss you, right now, middle of the street, in the rain!
Him: oh so your ‘kissing in the rain’ fantasy s back!
Me: Whatever, come out, I’m comi..
Him: When would you grow up and get girlie Swati. Why can’t you resist anything

He gave me a reason, did’nt come.
An Excuse to me!

In retrospect, could it be the reason for him parting from me?

What did he mean by saying, ‘go girlie and grow up’? Am I supposed to give way only to the femine way of thinking, completely disregarding the presence of something not feminine? isn’t it prejudiced; judging me on the basis of the external. Are the insides of me irrelevant? Does speaking out, put the feminine character at stake?

And growing up, does it mean you live a life completely devoid of imaginations, fantasies, dreams, mischief ? Wait a minute Or did he mean , I needed to keep those things to myself? Are grown ups a closed box, in themselves, for themselves, with Everything cluttered inside .

The bigger question is, can I fight it?

I’d perhaps grow up one day, a feminine in being, n would never live my wish of ‘kissing in the rain’ Or …

p.s: it's somewhat a work of fiction, any resemblance is coincidental.:)