Waking up with you

I want to wake up in your arms, dreaming.
and go Bungy Jumping with our fingers, intertwined
Go dive the sky with my arms around your body
making out in the vastness of the amber blue sky
'hippi'fy my belongings
and life to bare minimum, to be with you, fully alive
unbasked, untied and unwarranted

Buy not a house, but make home with treehouse in the woods of amazon
or banks of the nile or
our own ganges,
dipping in the chants of love
embracing the holy vibes of our communion: sacrosanct as I see it

with you, the materials are thin air
with you, my soul gets ripe
with every stroke your fingers make to side of my face
with every kiss you plant on the folding of my eyes
with every soothing shhh you do , when arguments ablaze
with locking of our eyes, each time, letting hours just pass by
waking up with you, and dreams by my side

the tales of mumbai

Sleeping faces or the smiling ones,
Busy texting or the talking ones
Talking Stocks or Chants of bhajans!
loneliness amongst the many or the completeness standing lone by the pole
In pursuit of finding life purpose or finding life in the everyday living

life travels in a Mumbai local,
creating stories, all along.

Strangers in the night

Strangers in the Night, exchanging glances
wondering in the night, what were the chances

I had met him a few days back, on the pedestal of life I didnt intend to walk on,
lets say, I was just strolling there, Alone, in thoughts of the distant past, In aspiration..uum well honestly no aspiration whatsoever.
so the pedestal was pretty much an open space, where you were perhaps not expected to be you, but you still had the choice.
I made the choice, I was me. 

anyway, I had met him there.
Strangely, it began on a note incomprehensible to me in the start. It looked cliche'd, passse.To this date, i don't know why i answered that question, But I did.

This led to talk and more talk
Chats and night talks
Meaning back in life,
Talks of Aspiration
People who motivate
Eroded emotions of Past
Sweet rumblings
flirtatious humming
the crackling laughs, the giggles and the smiles
The optimistic surrounds and the powerful conversations

the wait for more.

Sharing of the Dreams, Travelogues and Stories,
Readings of the Past, The Mundane and Newness of the Present

what were the chances, of 'a connect so strange'

It turned out so right, for strangers in the night!

So much Contrast, yet so much Romance

The hopeless romantic tale of meeting this guy, whom she never thought she'd fall for!
Lively n bubbly, she was off hoping the roads, delving in love for emotions, nd moments...and strangely in the mayanagri she meets this guy, who seems off the romantic hook, in a world of theories. Let's call him theory fuser, because that's what she named him.

Both met,and travelled the roads together, one looking for people another looking at the person.

There was aspark, an instant one perhaps. Yes spark, in waiting to see who turns up, The spark in roaming the land of thieves(chor bazaar as we fondly call it), sparkin the narrow bylanes and a spark in holding hands, by sheer coincidence!

Then they parted, few passed moments, few words exchanged and they met. She was eager,Perhaps even he was.

That day the  moon had a charm, not seen by the two of them in a longtime or may be they never noticed. By the sea, they spoke about life! Life was passion for one and passion was, well, investment for the other

Too much Contrast, yes. Anyhow, they somehow managed. Pretty well.

They parted, she dint want to, maybe even he didn't.

Again, moments went by, words they exchanged.

The urge grew,to meet of course.
And they met, yet again under the moonlit sky, with reflection in the sea and their reflection in the other’s eyes!

Something happened that day between the day.  Something had already started to happen to her. May be to him too. But together, Something was happening to both of them, together.

That's where thestory ends and
yes, they started.

Everyday

Everyday she would check her whatsapp for his messages, lesser and lesser they were getting as the days passed.
not that she wanted to be bothered by it, but it did was concerned.
Every day would harden her more,
everyday would make her believe lesser and lesser in the power of 'something she culdnt decipher'
Every passing day was a wait, for reasons unknown.

Social love, was it just. 

​She did question herself time and again, why the inclination so strong.. She had no answers.
She would fight the feeling everyday, She restricted her desire to ask everyday.

​It was strengthening her too, somehow, or so she believed.​

Though Incomplete...

When my body lay numb, open in the wide

you put your warmth onto my soul

The warmth with the strangeness of character, 

unlike the cliche'd 

The warmth crude to the hilt,

The warmth indifferent to my Low's

it smelled of sweat and not white musk

it echoed but wasnt shrill

the warmth unrecognised by you and the rest

not celebrated by the present you too

Your past, as you say, was familiar somewhat.

your future, might also be so.

Blank and Black.

Blank and black.
Colors.. So abstract.
Shades of Grey, pale yellow, blood red and more!
Colors huh!

With strokes bent and un-positive highlight
Gibberish, sentences I speak in my head

I know you and I dont know you
I mean love but I don't feel love

Fantasy or is it hallucination
Naked bodies but covered souls
Well meaning words, tainted intentions and no emotions.

Life, as its turning new?

Mumbai changes, in a blink.

He Changed the meaning of Mumbai for me. Every Road, Every eating Joint, every train ride echo of him. Left right center above below everywhere.

I had always dismissed this feeling for him as mere comfort and not the likes of love. The Archetypes, the stereotypes, nothing because it was different, atleast how we had started off.
and again, it was different, the way it ended.
I had never experienced this, before.  When the hunger pangs of the ever hungry dry out completely, the senses and mind in the most basic forms appears senseless.

I do not know why and how and what had happened. It was a mere 8 month relationship, but the depth felt that of years, even more.eh, MERE 8 months! But was I the only one, all the while feeling everything. Was he nowhere? Was his essence missing all throughout, that a spur of attraction, took it apart.

For days. All together I felt senseless, unable to decode what had actually happened, or what essentially was happening?
Is the generation we live in, with No commitment statuses and the need to not be judged whatever we may do, make one commit lesser in relationships? Is convenience the only thing we aspire for when with someone. Even the convenience to move on?

agreed, the idea of love is somewhat exaggerated, or atleast the idea of Bollywood love is, but does that mean that conveniently we could just overlook emotions?
In the name of honesty, he was insensitive. When while drunk, he had told me once that I was the one who brought in life to him, but does one let go of the harbinger of life so easily on finding someone livelier?

I don’t understand.

He unconsciously changed the meaning of the city I had loved, I had grown up adoring. This city had gradually become ‘HIM and ME’ for me. I myself had started fuelling in idea of me being with him forever, Though I was always aware of the non commitment.

I am not angry with him, I am just sad, that his self took over the sense of us that he had, and that too so easily. In mere 3 days time,from someone special and someone close enough to share the stupidest of things with , I had become someone he had started drifting apart from. I need to understand, how and why this happened? And does this happen that often?
Does Non commitment mean no expectation? Does Non commitment mean insensitivity.
I remember finding my muse for ‘A friend by choice, a lover by chance’ in him. Was that friend never there? Only the lover existed, who just could fly away in a blink.

I am hurt, deep down I am.
enough, that for a week and more I have been questioning my idea of love
Have I given undue weightage to a mere emotion, and let it take over my sense of me?

I am hurt more, because in the process of being with him , I had changed as a person.
I was somewhat transforming into his idea of me
his expectation of me
again, I am not blaming him, Because that’s what I chose.

I am hurt, because I let him overpower my love for the city too.

While leaving he did tell me, don’t let the idea of love vanish from your life.
It did vanish
The love for this city.
this city is no longer the city of dreams for me, nightmare happen too.
this city is no longer the city of holding hands for me, because hearts leave each other too
this city is no longer the city of possibilities, because not so possible doesn’t come true.
this city of no longer the city of the idea of love, because here you fall out of love too.

I am hurt
I am hurt, because I don’t know if I will ever reinstill my love for this city,this city I have loved through and through.

My Shadow, Free.

My Shadow, free

For it moves beyond the confinement of my body

for it breathes the fresh air when I stand behind The caged window,

For it roams the streets when I can muster courage to step out in the balcony, 

My shadow wanders, Free.

That Light source that lights up lives, Gives birth to my free existence.

In my shadow world, I can be everything I’v ever dreamt to be.

My shadow world lets me... explore the naked body, for my clothes don’t matter there.

Beauty products are not relevant, for My Face is all black there.

There I feel young, Un-wrinkled by the words of the wise old Real world 

The Dupatta covering my head here, slips down and spreads wide to become my wings there

My hands always tied up on the bed or in action to feed the dependents, become birds taking a flight or a fish exploring the beyonds of the ocean

My shadow world lets me be, The Me-reality never allowed me to be.

A Complete Day of 'You'!

Mesmerized by a complete day of 'You'
I feel strange when you get up to leave

Pangs of Desire in my stomach
Hunger for your voice in my mind
for the comfort-full nap on your right arm and the pecks

here and there.

Missing you is a becoming a habit, O! so profound!
your fragrance houses my body, cologne too
and dreams of you spill over my everyday reality

I am loving you in a manner
unknown to my past, incomprehensible to the present mind.
perhaps, unknown to the oxford too!

May be, I am not close to being an archetypical lover
may be, I am beyond the cliche's
I am just getting lost in our makeshift world, the one so refined!

The Friend by Choice, A Lover By Chance.

The friend by Choice, A lover by chance
Sings the romantic inside

With disconnect on thoughts
yet the same string of emotion

Synergy of learning
Despite  the varied perceptions

Comes together, our paths, for the divergent desires
or we split the paths when our thoughts conspire

Confutes my artificiality
Yet takes in all:
The perfectionist, the messy affair, the non real
that makes up 'me'

My friend by choice, and the lover by chance!