It's when

There is this one time, when you are absulotuly sick of the world around.

when people look upto you for motivation and energy and wat you can give them is nothing more than the fake words of wisdom, once proclaimed as shit by you! Your hug doenst even carry the same warmth it used to, for its exhausted. exhausted of gettin rejected.

You avoid every single body, not because you develop the popular inferiority complex( no one develops it, its just the 'popular opinion' pressure playing the game. Take my words, the day you develop that, you are dead. DEAD), but because they might infuse in some positivity, the energy , the optimism which has been missing from ages. How all of a sudden you would cope with it. You'v always believed its only you who can infuse all those things, how could you let anybody peep inside of you.

When the place of your work, where in the past you fuelled enthusiasm and creativity, starts to act as a human and you become the leech sucking on it, taking out optimism, laughter. Your collegues develop a dislike for you , not that you bitch about, but you don't utter a word( hell with them, if somebody says people understand, o they give a shit)

You realise, all the NO'S you avoided to say to people so that they don't feel bad, come back to you. Amplified.

On seeing a red cross van, your heart pounces hard, your grandpa appears right infront of you, you want to scream. cry out loud. you just can't for tears reject to fall. You fear crying,for you might be given sympathy. You might again have to turn to Friends. People , I generalise. The care, you d been longing to get, translates into sympathy which you hate more than the world.

When the romance inside you have been kicked so hard, by yourself ofcorse (the other one had given his verdict long back only) that you hate the nights when you fall asleep, because all the dreams you'd remember would be of him.

Believe me. It's your mother's lap that helps. The way she unfurls you.The way she infuses life in you. The way she asks your tears to flow out, the pain along. The way she combs your hair with her fingers to make the insomniac you fall asleep. The way she wakes up the love in you. and the way She asks papa to join in, who s been waiting for long.

How his 'our faith never shakes in you, give a shit to the world' lights up your eyes. How you just want to cry in his arms, because his embrace would empower yours.

Your grandmom wakes up from her sleep to remind you of your grandfather , whose Favorite child you were.

and your sibling laughs at your most pathetic joke (ofcorse after cracking it and claiming it to be his own).

You win over the rotten you!